Frustration of beautiful changes.....

It has been a long time since i even messed with this thing but figured i had to write tonight to let some of my emotions out.

Over the past 6 months a lot has changed in my life. I am going to the gym as promised. 2 times a week is not a huge change but hey its a start so lay off.
I am still doing my best at work trying to make a difference and change things for the better.
My love life is doing fantastic I am still with the most beautiful girl in the world.
I am looking at moving in with her this winter season.
Can't wait for that.
I no longer have my Dodge Challenger....
Moved up to a Ram pick up truck

blah blah blah okay enough catching up already

My motivation for writing tonight was my helpless feeling of not being able to help a friend out when i knew they needed it. Sometimes certain struggles in life are meant to be taken solo. They are tests that we must all face at one point or another.
I sat in the stands and could only cheer and offer support.

It angers me to see those who are supposed to love you and instead are only bringing you down.
Protecting someone and looking out for there well being is admirable but shouldn't someone at the end of the lecture say you know we love you and we are here to support your choices in life. Is my family the strange ones for actually doing this and always told me what they felt yet told me you are your own man and we trust in your choices.

Why???
Why not the loving support that some people clearly need.

I am so filled with sorrow and rage right now.

A person can only take so much pain....
Soon choices are made not out of rational thought but out of contempt and spite.


Going to bed.....My day is ready to be over....Can't wait to see what kind of messed up situations await me tomorrow.

Death of an X-box and the old me

So a week ago my X-box 360 finally kicked the bucket. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did it being of the original production line. My first impulse was to go out and buy a new one but out of no where i heard this voice that i have never heard before...It told me to grow up. By the way this voice sounded an awful like Adam West......
So after a weekend of going back and fourth i decided to part with my X-box for good...
Funny thing though is now that i am down to only owning a ps3 (which is an original as well) I am using it more than ever.
I went almost 8 hours straight on my PS3.
Am i trying to hold onto what little of my youth i still have or am i embracing what i never appreciated?
I allowed for all sorts of ideas to flood my brain on what i can do to fill the void of my X-box when it came to me.
Since moving over a month ago i have shed the majority of my possesions.
In keeping with this trend i decided to not buy another new electronic gadget and instead invest on something that i have neglected my whole life.
Me
My intent is to join a local gym.
I had joined a gym before i started to travel for my business.
I cancelled my membership when i noiced that being home 4-6 days a month was just not worth the money.
Now that i have relocated i feel that i owe it to myself,to my mother who dreams of seeing her son as a fit young man,for my father who desires nothing more than to see me grow to an old age,to my friends who worry about my self esteem and my health,for my nieces who want me around to see them graduate from high school,college and see get married one day.
I will start a new way of life this week. I am sure i will stumble but for the first time in my life i am on my own and i have to do this without any help. I am absent of any friends or family so i will embark on this chapter alone yet inspired by the motivation of being around longer to enjoy life with and for my family.
I am going to write about my new journey over the next coming months and use this blog as an outlet to express my thoughts.
So here is a toast to the death of my X-Box and to the death of the old William.
may they both rest in peace....

Will write a new entry every week.

week 1- join a gym and set up a workout and eating regiment
week-2  make it to the gym atleast 3 times a week and workout for a minimum of 1 hour

Adios peeps